David C. Weber 1939-2008

I'm finally getting around to my first post from our new home in Archbold. Things have been very busy since we left Camarillo, with the move and settling in and taking care of necessities and all that. And... for those who haven't heard, my father died while we were on our way home from CA to Ohio. He'd had a lot of health trouble for the last 8 or 9 years now (diabetes, kidney disease, heart trouble), and had been close to death quite a few times. In fact, he collapsed at my niece's basketball game last year and was actually dead for about a minute, but a nurse happened to be near him (amongst other people who helped) and she performed CPR and brought him back. So in a way, we'd been prepared for him to go anytime. The possibility is always in the back of your mind, when your father's health is so unstable. Whenever I would talk with him I'd say to myself, "Will this be the last time?"
Here's what happened: He had gone to dialysis that day, which he did three times a week, and the nurse found that his port, which was implanted in his left arm, was clogged. The port is where they hook up the machine to his vein to do the dialysis. This had happened a few times before and was a pretty much routine operation to fix. He would just go in the hospital and they would unclog the port. Well, this time they think one of the clots made it into his lungs or brain and he had a stroke. The weird thing is, he had told my sister who drove him to the hospital that if anything happened, he didn't want to be resuscitated or put on life support. And so he wasn't.

They did an autopsy, but we still haven't received the official results so the actual cause of death is still unknown.

Julie and I were in New Mexico when my sister Jackie called me crying and told me the news. She's a nurse herself and doesn't cry easy, so before she said what happened, I knew. Even though we'd been prepared for it, in a way, it's still shocking, and it made the rest of the trip home very surreal. The details of the drive from that point on are somewhat hazy for me. We still had 2 1/2 more days to drive at that point. I think I'm still a bit shocked. I just can't get used to my Dad being gone, despite all the "preparation" we've had. Death is simply an unnatural thing. It shouldn't happen. I don't believe God intended for it to be a fact of life. But to my Dad, it's no longer a mystery, and he's no longer miserable or in pain.
Whenever we get together with my sisters, I'll think for a split second that we need to call my dad and tell him to join us, just out of habit. But as it was after my Mom died, we'll gradually get used to it.

As his son, I've thought a lot about him and our relationship over the years, trying to figure him out. He could be grumpy and negative, and sometimes a little too opinionated, old fashioned and/or narrow minded. But I, and a select few other people, knew that he was also a very gentle and sentimental softy. A lot of people (his dialysis nurses, bank tellers, among others) told us at the funeral that Dad had been a little bit like a father or even grandfather figure to them. He was very honest, and you knew where he stood on things, sometimes more than you'd have liked to know. And I was thinking the other day that, for all his faults, I have never been ashamed of him. I know a lot of people that can't say that. He was always faithful to my mother, he was honest and trustworthy in his business dealings, and he remembered kindnesses. Some of the things we learned from him was the importance of being honorable and truthful to your family and other people. Like everyone, he had some hurt and maybe even regret in his life, but he didn't always process it in the most positive way. But we knew that he loved us and that we were the most important things in his life. He couldn't say that about his own father unfortunately.

Here are some pictures of my Dad that remind me of good times: http://www.flickr.com/photos/camarillohillbillies/sets/72157604148314696/

The final post from Camarillo

The end is nigh. It's Leavin' Eve, meaning it's the night before we leave to go back to Ohio. Where it's frigid.
Our feelings are bittersweet. The body really does get acclimated to warmer weather, and now 45 degrees is cold to me, whereas it used to be 10. Have I become a California softy? I'll soon find out.
We look forward to seeing family and friends and being around them again. But we'll miss being so near the oceans, mountains, elephant seals, Giant Sequoia Trees (I'll post some pictures of them when I get time), and of course, sea otters. The black squirrels of Archbold just can't compare. And mosquitoes are so rare here, they're not even a problem. We would leave our patio door open constantly and no bugs took advantage of it. Once in awhile you'd see a gnat.
Our time out here was short, but a lot happened. We had some struggles; like the initial housing situation, Julie's grandfather passing away, questions in our hearts and minds about the job of ministry. But we learned more than a few life lessons, I'd say, and some of them were heavy, so it sort of feels like we were here much longer than 6 months.
So, you can hear more about all that, if you want, when or if you see us in person sometime in the near future.
We plan to go through Joshua Tree National Park tomorrow and from there our next stop will be a motel in Winslow, Arizona, where we hope to stand on a corner and see a fine sight. Maybe it will be an Eagle. (let me know if you don't get all that)
Some of you we are leaving and you'll be missed. Some of you we will soon be very excited to see again... back in Ohio.

A sad story

Some of you may have heard on the national news about a shooting that happened on Feb 12 at a jr. high school that's only a few miles from here, in Oxnard. Here's a news story about it: http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-oxnard14feb14,0,7204301.story
The kid that was killed, Lawrence King, attended the jr. high youth group at our church, where he wanted to start singing with the worship band. He was also a foster child at a local home for troubled youth called Casa Pacifica, where many people from our church go to help out and try to mentor kids. It's sad enough that he was shot and killed, possibly because he was gay (nobody's sure what the real motive actually was yet) but the story of his life before this happened is sad also. And I'm absolutely dumbfounded as to how a 14 year old kid can think it's a good idea to shoot another kid in the back of the head in a classroom as 20-some other students look on. You have to feel bad for him too. He's 14. His concept of death and murder are probably so wacked out and unrealistic because of violent video games, movies, etc.
Here's another article about the story: http://venturacountystar.com/news/2008/feb/16/slain-teen-remembered-as-fun-quirky-at-rainbow/

Good or Bad Dental Timing?

Last week we decided that we better get our teeth cleaned while we're out here, because Julie's insurance through the church allows us to have it done for free. So Monday she went in for her cleaning. Well, she got her teeth cleaned, and she also found out she has to get a night guard to wear when she sleeps because she grinds her teeth. AND she needs to have all four of her wisdom teeth pulled. So we discussed what we were gonna do to pay for all this, because the insurance gives us a discount on dental work but we still have to pay some of it ourselves. The dentist said the wisdom teeth pulling can wait, so we're gonna wait on that. A cool thing happened though: after we talked about how we were gonna pay for the night guard, we checked our mail and saw that our montly Health Savings Account statement came. The amount that we have in that account is almost exactly what we need to pay for the night guard, the difference being a few cents. Hallelujah, there was much rejoicing.
But then I went in the next day for my cleaning. After looking at my x-rays for no more than 10 seconds, the dentist said, "You're not gonna like this, David." I narrowed my eyes at her and said in a low voice, "What." She told me I'm gonna need a root canal job done on one of my molars where I happen to already have a silver filling. I felt like someone that knows nothing about cars being told by a mechanic that I need headlight fluid. How do I know what's what on an x-ray? I haven't had any pain there so it's her educated word against mine. She said all of my other teeth are in great shape.
What the heck is goin' on? We just wanted our teeth cleaned, and now we have to pay hundreds of dollars, at least, to have these unforeseen problems fixed! Actually, Julie's night guard thing was not a surprise. A dentist told her a few years ago that she needs one. And if my tooth is in fact infected, it's probably good to have it fixed now, while it doesn't hurt.
So maybe it's all a case of divine timing? Because when we go back to Ohio, we probably aren't going to have dental insurance. And even though our insurance out here won't pay all of it, our cost is still much less than what we would've paid without it. A blessing in disguise? That's what I'm believing.

Morro Bay and San Simeon elephant seals

Last Saturday we took a drive up to San Simeon with the hopes of seeing some Elephant Seal births. We were able to witness two little "weaners" (as they're called) be born. It's a very unusual sight to behold. We were just standing there watching the seals do what they do on the beach, which is primarily sleep. Then Julie noticed a female making some weird movements, like she was breathing really deep and fast. She would frequently scream and bellow out these guttural noises, all the while flicking sand up on her back with her side flippers. I thought maybe she was constipated, but then we saw something slimey and whitish poking out from under her rear flippers. There it was, a newborn seal! There was much rejoicing and oohing and ahhing from the hundreds of people watching. The seals are a popular attraction this time of year, because of the birthing season. A lot of people also came because the news reported that a male had made his way off the beach and wandered across the highway! How he did that is a mystery; these creatures are not very agile or graceful on land. There is a cow pasture near one section of the beach and we noticed that a seal had made it into a drinking hole used by the cattle. It's a funny sight to see a seal laying in the water that a cow is drinking from.
On our way up there we stopped at a town called Morro Bay, which is a cool little beach town. One of its main attractions is the Morro Rock, and it's just that - a big chunk of rock along the beach. We got to see Julie's favorite animal - the otter. An old pelican was there too, as well as a headless sea gull, which mystified Loretta to no end.
Here are some pictures of the trip: http://www.flickr.com/photos/camarillohillbillies/sets/72157603739281368/

The bon voyage is nearly over

To those who haven't heard the news yet: Julie and I, and Loretta, are moving back home sometime at the end of February. Life is just too slow out here in Southern California. We miss the fast-paced celebrity culture of small-town Ohio.

Not really. It's a long story, sure to be misinterpreted by some. I only say that because it's already happened and it's frustrating but what can you do? The short version is this: Julie has come to the conclusion that fulltime ministry in a paid position at a church is not for her anymore. She hasn't lost her faith, nor does she feel she will have any less impact on the Kingdom because of this. Priorities have changed, goals have changed. Some people thrive in the environment of working at a church; other people, like Julie, find their passion gets zapped by it, whether it's because of the politics that go along with the job, or controlling egos, or the time away from family that it frequently demands. This decision is the result of about 3 years of an inner struggle, sometimes outward, trying to weed out what's from God and what is human selfishness and weakness. We both believe we knew the answer before we came out here for this job, but we weren't sure, so we gave fulltime ministry another try anyway. Trying to discern between what you think is a calling from God and what is self-motivated is sometimes extremely hard. Basically we feel that we at least need a break - Julie needs a break - to figure some things out and see what the Almighty has to say about it. At first we thought we made a mistake in moving, but some great things have happened. We've met some awesome people, and we've learned a lot about ourselves and our relationship as a couple. We leave feeling refreshed and optimistic, and our faith has actually been encouraged. It all works out in the end.

But that's not the only thing involved in our decision. My dad's health is also a concern. He's got diabetes, kidney disease, and heart trouble. And he lives alone with his faithful Pug, Buddy (aka The General), which isn't the safest thing, considering how the diabetes has affected his sight and motor skills. So it's hard to stay out here if Julie's job isn't what she wants. Her grandpa died a month after we moved, and it was hard for her to be so far away as he was declining fast. Luckily we flew home in time to see him just before he passed away, but the experience made us realize how important our families are to us.
So back to Ohio we go.

Friends and Friends of Friends

...is where it's headed, me thinks. My friend Shok passed on this interesting article to me. I found myself agreeing with much of what is written. It has to do with something we've been thinking a lot about the last few years but haven't been able to put to words quite so well: check out Friends
Let me know what you think.