Church experts, cont'd

Some people have been wanting to know more of what I'm talking about in reference to my last post. I realize it's kind of vague, but to write about church and all the weird politics and issues that go along with it is very difficult. And I surely don't claim to have it all figured out. It wasn't until the last 3 or 4 years that I even had a clue about what goes on at a church outside of a Sunday morning service. And I still feel like an outsider much of the time, even though my wife is a pastor and I've seen and heard what goes on in the running of a church.
I wanted to include actual quotes that we've heard, but to do that wouldn't have been very discreet, even if I'd have left out the names. I'm not out to hurt someone's feelings. Well, I can put one in... We mentioned in a recent conversation that we have a lot of friends that we know are Christians but don't attend a church regularly, for whatever reason. The person we were talking to said, "If they aren't going to church, maybe they're not really Christians." This is another thing I don't get: how some people seem to think they know, by someone's actions, if that person is saved or not. I believe you can sometimes have a good idea, or suspicion, but how can anyone know? It seems like that's something only God and the individual knows for sure.
Some have also commented on the Johnny Cash lyrics. One person said, "what's wrong with being heavenly minded?" To that I say nothing is wrong with being heavenly minded, but if all you do is think about when this life is over and spending eternity in heaven, but you do nothing on earth to make it a better place, then that's no earthly good. I feel the song was written for busy-bodies and know-it-alls who gripe and complain about everyone else, but they themselves are no better.
The main thing is, I'm just frustrated that the church seems to be a lot like the world, in that it too has it's share of people who are self-centered, greedy, attention-seeking, petty, overly critical and full of selfish ambition. I've always thought that "church people" would be some kind of different. I never expected perfection, just a noticeable difference.
To be fair, I've met a lot of awesome and godly people at church too. But they are the exception. Maybe that goes along with what Jesus said about the road being narrow, and many being called but few being chosen.
I don't know, maybe I'll figure it all out someday. Maybe it's not for me to worry about...